Who am I?

Today; in between getting up at 5am teaching two morning fitness classes, doing remedial work with a lady at a nursing home, learning choreography, doing my invoices, meditating for 20 minutes and mentally preparing for the next two classes of the evening, I caught my reflection in my blender and wondered who the frick am I ?

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I mean seriously, look at this blender filled with green goodness, when did I turn from the KFC eating high school punk to the exercising, spiritual, kale drinking smoothie I have become?

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Who is this fit, flexible girl I see staring back at me from the pictures, this same girl who used to hate the gym who now teaches at them promoting fitness on a regular basis.

This small framed girl who is suddenly (without warning it feels ) is covered on muscles.

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This girl who is still me, who is still the same but is also completely different.

This girl who just went to Perth with her girlfriends and ate her body weight in cheese, bread, chocolate, coffee and wine~
~ and would do that every weekend if she could 🙂

This girl who teaches yoga to people to relax, then blurts out words excitedly, quickly in an anything but relaxed manner.

This girl who teaches body balance, then trips over nothing on the way out of class.

This pilates trainer who has a strong core but can not do a handstand.

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This girl who lives life with reckless abandon who craves adventure yet yearns for serenity.

This girl who feels so young at heart, yet knows she is growing older.

Who am I ?

A walking contradiction, or simply a girl wanting to experience everything, to be everything, to feel everything.

To be the best person I can be inside and out.

To be who I am without even really knowing who I am myself!
So my advice to you all, should you find yourself staring at your reflection through a green mush of kale, don’t question, don’t stress, don’t judge – just be!

Refuse to let self doubt ruin you

This week I experienced self-doubt; it threw me off balance and left me quite off center.

Self-doubt once it takes hold, has the ability to bury itself deeply inside you.

Self-doubt can ruin you, if you allow it!

I am not going to lie, my self-doubt episode made me cry. My self-doubt caused me to lay awake that night, feeling inadequate and annoyed.

My self-doubt also allowed me to wake up the next morning, filled with positive determination to get rid of it.

Which is precisely what I did!

I did this, by focussing on positive things, people and comments. I did this by choosing not to dwell on my tiny mistake, but be proactive in finding ways to move forward, to improve, to grow.

I would love to say that my self-doubt will never come back, that I am stronger than that, but that would be a lie, for I am human, and as humans even the strongest of us, fall apart from time to time, and you know what I am ok with that.

Our minds are pretty darn amazing at turning negatives to positives if we keep training them to do so.