Who am I?

Today; in between getting up at 5am teaching two morning fitness classes, doing remedial work with a lady at a nursing home, learning choreography, doing my invoices, meditating for 20 minutes and mentally preparing for the next two classes of the evening, I caught my reflection in my blender and wondered who the frick am I ?

20140616-151004.jpg

I mean seriously, look at this blender filled with green goodness, when did I turn from the KFC eating high school punk to the exercising, spiritual, kale drinking smoothie I have become?

20140616-151305.jpg

20140616-151324.jpg

20140616-151334.jpg

Who is this fit, flexible girl I see staring back at me from the pictures, this same girl who used to hate the gym who now teaches at them promoting fitness on a regular basis.

This small framed girl who is suddenly (without warning it feels ) is covered on muscles.

20140616-151634.jpg

This girl who is still me, who is still the same but is also completely different.

This girl who just went to Perth with her girlfriends and ate her body weight in cheese, bread, chocolate, coffee and wine~
~ and would do that every weekend if she could 🙂

This girl who teaches yoga to people to relax, then blurts out words excitedly, quickly in an anything but relaxed manner.

This girl who teaches body balance, then trips over nothing on the way out of class.

This pilates trainer who has a strong core but can not do a handstand.

20140616-152105.jpg

This girl who lives life with reckless abandon who craves adventure yet yearns for serenity.

This girl who feels so young at heart, yet knows she is growing older.

Who am I ?

A walking contradiction, or simply a girl wanting to experience everything, to be everything, to feel everything.

To be the best person I can be inside and out.

To be who I am without even really knowing who I am myself!
So my advice to you all, should you find yourself staring at your reflection through a green mush of kale, don’t question, don’t stress, don’t judge – just be!

The emotional side of exercise

It has been an oddly emotional week, for myself and others around me. I have had a few people cry in my classes and this of course has made me think more deeply about my life, and my classes.

Emotions are a funny thing, they can be pushed to the background for so long, before all of a sudden they explode when you least expect it.

Exercise releases endorphins we all know about this, it makes sense then that emotions can be released as well.

While you may feel more comfortable crying during relaxation or a hip opening yoga sequence than pumping weights or running on the treadmill, don’t be surprised if halfway mid squat you suddenly feel overcome with emotion.

Here is where all the guys are puffing their chests out saying whatever lady, well guys it happens to you too, I know this, I have seen it.

While you may disguise (or bury) it better than the ladies, it does happen to you as well 🙂

Think about it, when you are exercising, you are away from your life so to speak; no wife, husband, children, work, deadlines, chores before you – just you and your chosen exercise.

Your mind is now focussed, your breathing has most likely changed, without these other external factors what are you left with?

Your thoughts!

Your emotions!

Now for my yoga, pilates, body balance people; relaxation is confrontational, being left quietly alone with yourself and a potential racing mind can be daunting, so I am here to tell you that it is ok to feel whatever it is you are feeling.

It is ok to let some tears flow silently down your cheeks, and if you end up a blubbering puffy face mess then that is ok as well.

We tend to hold a lot of emotion in our hips, so if you are in the midst of a deep hip opening sequence then it is quite natural to start to feel an emotional release during this.

How you feel is how you feel, so recognise this, accept this and embrace it.

Release what needs to be released and I am confident you will feel a million times better for allowing yourself to do this.

20140207-165351.jpg

Give yourself a gift this month and try meditation

I hate to admit it but I used to be one of “those” people who left the class before meditation.

I left as my brain went into immediate meltdown mode the minute that word was uttered.

My fatigued body was pleading with me to take those 5-10 minutes to relax, my brain was yelling at it to shut up.

Meditation; who has the time for that? I could be doing cardio, or something useful at home!

The naive old me thought meditation was some hippy chanting thing.

I remember the first yoga class I did, where the instructor told me to clear my mind of everything –
Everything my brain shrieked, is she nuts?

My brain was a jumbled mess, is everyone clearing their minds except for me? What is wrong with me? Why can’t I clear my mind?

Fast forward to what feels like a million years later to the girl who types this and teaches meditation and relaxation at the end of a workout, to the girl who feels so sad when people leave before the end, the people who will miss out on everything I missed out on for so many years.

Meditation for many can be a confrontational process, being still with your own thoughts can be daunting.

I am mindful not to ask people to clear their minds of everything, rather I invite people just to lie calmly and relax, to breath deeply and calmly, to focus on something that makes them happy, and to give themselves permission to do just that.

Our society is racing, each year goes faster than the last.

Stopping, relaxing, meditating in which ever form you wish to do it, is one of the most important gifts you can give yourself.

If you are unsure where to start; start by identifying what makes you happy, then close your eyes for a moment and draw upon that image, emotion or event.

Take 5 minutes on your journey to or from work to close your eyes, listen to music or just listen to the sound of your breath.

Sit in a park, the beach a place that resonates with you, and just be content in the moment.

There is no right or wrong, find what works for you and then indulge in it every chance you get.

Five minutes a day and before long you will notice and feel the benefits.

In this busy month of December give yourself the best gift of all.