I am a yoga instructor and here are my truths

Sometimes I awake at silly o’clock at times to teach a class, I boil the kettle and jump in a quick wake up shower.

Occasionally I internally battle with my NEED for morning coffee.

Occasionally hearing my yoga teacher in my head (let’s protect his identity and call him Mr M)  telling me how bad caffeine is, I have read the studies and he is an intelligent guy so I am pretty confident the studies and he is right.

Yet that voice is always quickly quieted by the louder “get out of the shower so you have time to slam that morning coffee down” voice screeching at me from under the soothing refreshing water pouring over my head, calming me from the evil alarm that made me want to forget about the Ahimsa Yama and instead of being a non violent person, sometimes I just want to punch that beeping alarm in its beeping face.

I lapse into a happy serene daydream under that shower, momentarily forgetting the world, blissfully euphoric under a cascade of soothing water, until the screeching coffee need inner voice returns with a jolt yelling “now you idiot- get out now!”

So I reluctantly get out of the shower I throw on my yoga gear, I almost never do my hair, yogis don’t do hair and makeup right – we are natural and beautiful and content with our natural beauty.

Riiiiiiight?

Hellllllooooo????

Anyone?????

Now don’t be too shocked I do smear a bit of moisturizer and sunscreen on my face –  I’m not an animal.

Anyway where was I?

Coffee/Yoga
Yoga/Yamas
Yoga/Coffee

Anyway coffee…..

That beautiful liquid that allows me to regularly practice Ahimsa and be non violent to myself or others 🙂

See I also practice Satya as you can see my the many truths revealed in this story.

Yes I slam my coffee down – I say slam as I couldn’t possibly set my alarm 5 minutes earlier to allow me to sip my morning coffee like a civilized human.

I eat a tiny bit of toast normally with peanut butter that nine times out of ten I am wiping off my pants during the journey to class – Don’t ask I am as baffled as you are!

I race to my class feeling tired and slightly disheveled.

I am sometimes still angry at my alarm for making me wake so early – I have forgotten all about the 4th Niyama – non judgement.

I arrive at class, I roll my mat out and a strange peaceful calm transcends over my body.

I step onto my yoga mat and sit peacefully awaiting (secretly hoping) (sometimes worrying) that someone will actually turn up at this ungdly hour.

The people file in they are subdued, undoubtedly as tired as me.

I smile at them knowingly, I smile at them compassionately.

I smile, as being a yoga instructor is the most rewarding fulfilling job I can have imagined myself living. It can also be a lonely world as a self-employed instructor so I smile for me, for the simple fact that I am sharing my space with another human.

I smile in appreciation that they too got up early for me or for themselves, they choose my class out of all the many classes and I feel honoured.

I smile as for that next hour my life exists purely for them – my thoughts are no longer my own, my being is a vehicle to inspire others, to motivate, to exist for them and them alone.

My thoughts, doubts, fears, insecurities, excitement, preoccupied dreams can be mine again maybe ten minutes after class but for that moment and for every class that I teach, my thoughts are not my own.  For during this time, I practice and I honour all the Yamas, the Niyamas, prana, I honour my teachers, I honour myself and I honour each and every person in that room.

I am an instructor I am watching people grow; mentally, physically and emotionally.

I momentarily feel silly for my alarm induced rage.

My feelings of tiredness have vanished.

I am ok with my decision to drink coffee (sorry Mr M) I don’t do drugs, I don’t drink excessively, I don’t even eat a lot of meat I am mostly a vegetarian without even being vegetarian.

I am kind to others and I try to always be kind to myself.

I believe in energy and I vow to beam all the positive energy I have inside out of my heart and into my students.

I am a coffee drinking yoga instructor I sometimes have crazy hair and I always have awesome yoga pants.

I am a loving yoga instructor who loves life, who loves to help others and chooses to hate nothing except for alarms.

I am a walking contradiction of mayhem and calm.

I am a yoga instructor and these are my truths.

 

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Breathe in, Breathe out and escape

breathe

When life starts to become hectic, as it always will; sometimes we need to just stop!

Stop and find solitude.

Inhale  new peaceful calm energy.

Exhale the drama, the negativity, the pressure, the tension.

Sometimes you just need to let go and escape.

After what can only be described as a hectic crazy year, I am doing exactly that, I am escaping for 2 short weeks to London.

I am running an event there to help others escape so if you live in London and you need a little break, then check out the events page of this site and let me help you escape through yoga and mediation to relax, to take some time out for you.

For those not in London, I hope you can find some time in your busy lives to find some inner peace, to find solitude and happiness.

You owe it to yourselves.

x

 

The storm before the calm

~ excerpt from a journal written last month on a 4 day yoga retreat~

I am currently into day 4 of a 4 day yoga retreat. I am currently into 2 or so hours of a 4 hour requested silence.

It is morning, it is cold in the shade, so I sit in silence with the sun warming my skin.

All around me are tired little yogi’s reflecting, struggling to be quiet, loving the silence; I don’t know.

All I know is how I feel, and how I feel is emotional.

What I can’t figure out is why.

Being alone is nothing new, being silent and alone with my thoughts is a frequent and welcomed practice for me.

Yet being amongst 50 other people moving about not saying a word is definitely something new for me.

These past 4 days have pushed me mentally, physically and emotionally – I can’t even say why, but I can say that I feel we all need to step outside of our comfort zones several times in life, in order to feel more, be more and achieve more.

We NEED to experience some storms before the calm, the storms help us to appreciate the calm times in life.

We need to push the outer limits of our learnt and habitual behaviors.

As one of my teachers said (and is a favorite quote of mine) ‘if we keep doing what we have always done, we will keep getting what we have always got’.

I believe that nothing great was ever achieved by sitting comfortably, and not stepping outside your comfort zone.

After every storm the dust settles, the rain clears and new life is felt. You can literally feel it in the air, that change,that freshness, that vitality.

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Could we perhaps not say the same of ourselves; we go through hardships, the dust clears, the metaphorical storm clouds disappear and we survive and feel re-born, re-awakened.

We emerge stronger, more resilient.

If we are constantly surrounded by chatter, can we ever find our own words?

If we are constantly filling the silences with noise, will the noise in our heads continue to grow?

If we don’t embrace the storms, will we ever be able to appreciate the calm?

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As I said, this was written in my journal over a month ago now, and without really knowing why, I opened my retreat journal this afternoon, and as I read over my words I am amazing at the timing.

Last week was a bit intense and emotional for me, and it would appear I was not alone.

Sometimes we really do receive and read things at the exact time we are meant to, and even though these words came from me, they have helped me by re-reading them today, and my heartfelt wish for anyone reading this who is also in the midst of a storm is to trust that this will pass, the calmness will re-appear and know that you will emerge stronger than ever before.

Xxx

Who am I?

Today; in between getting up at 5am teaching two morning fitness classes, doing remedial work with a lady at a nursing home, learning choreography, doing my invoices, meditating for 20 minutes and mentally preparing for the next two classes of the evening, I caught my reflection in my blender and wondered who the frick am I ?

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I mean seriously, look at this blender filled with green goodness, when did I turn from the KFC eating high school punk to the exercising, spiritual, kale drinking smoothie I have become?

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Who is this fit, flexible girl I see staring back at me from the pictures, this same girl who used to hate the gym who now teaches at them promoting fitness on a regular basis.

This small framed girl who is suddenly (without warning it feels ) is covered on muscles.

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This girl who is still me, who is still the same but is also completely different.

This girl who just went to Perth with her girlfriends and ate her body weight in cheese, bread, chocolate, coffee and wine~
~ and would do that every weekend if she could 🙂

This girl who teaches yoga to people to relax, then blurts out words excitedly, quickly in an anything but relaxed manner.

This girl who teaches body balance, then trips over nothing on the way out of class.

This pilates trainer who has a strong core but can not do a handstand.

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This girl who lives life with reckless abandon who craves adventure yet yearns for serenity.

This girl who feels so young at heart, yet knows she is growing older.

Who am I ?

A walking contradiction, or simply a girl wanting to experience everything, to be everything, to feel everything.

To be the best person I can be inside and out.

To be who I am without even really knowing who I am myself!
So my advice to you all, should you find yourself staring at your reflection through a green mush of kale, don’t question, don’t stress, don’t judge – just be!

A full milky moon, a full grateful heart.

I am sitting outside by myself, rugged up in a warm wooly hoody and ugg boots.

I am trying to be still so as not to jolt my sensor light and destroy the magic of the night.

I gaze up at the stars not covered by clouds and I type quickly as a full, milky moon is rising, currently it is partially hidden my trees.

I am alone, I am happy, I am content!

My husband just left to play football and for a brief moment I was lost, until that is I came outside.

Now I am lost in the happiest, peaceful of ways.

There is something so incredible about being apart of something so large as the universe.

Watching a sunset, looking at the stars, witnessing a full, super, milky, rare moon is a gift that no technology, person or possession can ever provide.

When you can allow yourself to just simply be; to switch off, to just appreciate everything the world has to offer then I believe you can find true happiness anywhere.

As the moon now makes it way above the trees, I am signing off to appreciate this moment with a grateful heart and a happy soul.

What if……..

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How often have you had a terrible class, your mind is unfocused and cluttered, and everything you seem to try fails.

So often it is the thoughts we have before even stepping foot on our mat that have the greatest impact on how our class will play out.

Those thoughts of what if I am not good enough, fit enough, flexible enough.

What if everyone in the room is better than me….

Those negatives ‘what if’s’ will break you.

What if:

As you picked up your yoga mat you thought whatever happens in this next hour is ok;

What if :

As you rolled out your mat you thought, I am here, I am trying, I am exactly where I am meant to be in my practice and my life and I am perfectly happy with that;

What if:

At the end of the class whatever the outcome you felt proud of everything you just achieved, rather than berating yourself for the things you didn’t!

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What if you turned yourself into a warrior and not a worrier.

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Refuse to let self doubt ruin you

This week I experienced self-doubt; it threw me off balance and left me quite off center.

Self-doubt once it takes hold, has the ability to bury itself deeply inside you.

Self-doubt can ruin you, if you allow it!

I am not going to lie, my self-doubt episode made me cry. My self-doubt caused me to lay awake that night, feeling inadequate and annoyed.

My self-doubt also allowed me to wake up the next morning, filled with positive determination to get rid of it.

Which is precisely what I did!

I did this, by focussing on positive things, people and comments. I did this by choosing not to dwell on my tiny mistake, but be proactive in finding ways to move forward, to improve, to grow.

I would love to say that my self-doubt will never come back, that I am stronger than that, but that would be a lie, for I am human, and as humans even the strongest of us, fall apart from time to time, and you know what I am ok with that.

Our minds are pretty darn amazing at turning negatives to positives if we keep training them to do so.

Life isn’t black and white

Life isn’t black and white.

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I think problems in our minds, in our lives arise when the image of our perfect life fades, when we expected a black and white situation to play out a certain way….

Life is anything but black and white, expectations can lead to let downs and sometimes whilst waiting for your black and white situation to play out you are missing the rich vibrant colourful moments, people and events occurring all around you.

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Green for goodness

This week I went and got myself a cold; so I have spent my energy (when not resting) in between trying to stop my nose running in down dog and making healthy green concoctions.

I often get asked for recipes so here are a few jam packed with goodness from the last few days.

My get over a cold throw it all in a blender juice:

*orange juice
* handful of spinach
* little bit of ginger
* handful of berries

Delicious and filled with anti-oxidants and vitamin c.

Has to be good for you coz its green – green soup.

This I took from a recipe and as always I started with the recipe then ditched it and made it my own (no offense to all the fabulous people who contribute to recipe books)

This soup consisted of:

* 1 leek
* 2 cloves garlic
* 2 tablespoons olive oil

Heat all this up in a large pot until soft

Then add (I am being non descriptive with the quantities I say use what you have or as much as you like)

* broccoli
*kale
*spinach
*silver beet
* ginger
* 2 ltr vegetable stock

Bring all of this to the boil

Add in
*salt and pepper
* 2 teaspoons lemon rind (I added more and added some lemon juice as well

Cool this all down

The put into blender and add 300g silken tofu

I also added some lime juice and while it strongly resembles baby food in looks, the taste is quite delicious!

Please message me if you would like actual quantities as per the initial recipe:)

Another thing I have been eating lately is avocados on toasted sourdough with lemon, cracked pepper and snow pea sprouts.

All of these things are healthy and quick and easy to make.

Enjoy and please share any of your healthy favorite green tasty delights.